Asking for Help that’s Helpful: A Guide

Sometimes it can be so hard to communicate what we need with others who want to help us. We might have friends or family who have great intentions, but the things they say or do are not always helpful. Sometimes it’s even hurtful or overwhelming.

Asking “How can I help?’ may seem harmless enough. For some of us who struggle to make even low stakes decisions (what kind to snack to eat, which socks to wear…iykyk) or have difficulty asking for help, that question could be too broad or scary for us to even begin to respond.

Enter: The Guide for Asking for Help that’s Helpful. The template below can help you clarify & communicate what is and is not helpful when you’re struggling with your mental health. It’s a helpful tool for guiding conversation with loved ones, so you can articulate your experience & needs, and they can have a better idea of ways to support that actually feel helpful. Aka: big potential for a win-win.

Next time you’re riding the struggle bus (or, even prior to boarding), consider giving this guide a try. 🙂

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Guide for Asking for Help that’s Helpful

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Hi _________.

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I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health lately. When this happens, I can have a hard time talking about what I’m experiencing and how I could use some extra support. I’m sharing this to give you a better idea of what it looks like for me when I’m struggling and what kinds of support I’ve found helpful.

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When I’m struggling with my mental health this usually looks like: (observable behaviors)

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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During these times, I often have thoughts or feelings like:

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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These mental health challenges can make it more difficult for me to:

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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I know sometimes it can be hard to know how to support me when I’m feeling like this. Some ways to support me that I find helpful are:

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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Some things that aren’t so helpful for me are:

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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If you’re ever unsure, I always appreciate you asking me first what would be helpful.

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If there is ever a point where you are concerned about my wellbeing, I’d like it if you:

• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________
• __________________________________

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Micro-connections might seem small, but their impact can be big. By weaving these moments into your daily routine, you can begin to feel less isolated—and remember that connection is always within reach, one micro-moment at a time.

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