Values: The Secret Ingredient to Finding Meaning & Motivation
We all have those moments when doing something—anything—feels impossible. Maybe it’s fear of failure, the weight of sadness, or just the sense of “why bother?” that keeps us stuck. When we’re struggling, waiting for motivation to magically show up often leaves us even more stuck.
That’s where values come in. Values give us a reason to act, even when it feels hard. They’re not about forcing ourselves to push through discomfort but about gently moving toward the life we want to build—moment by moment—through actions that reflect what truly matters to us.
What Are Values?
Values are about the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live. They’re your guiding principles, the things you hold dear, and the ways you want to show up for yourself and others. Unlike goals, which you can check off as “done,” values are ongoing—they’re about the how, not the what.
For example:
- A goal might be “go on a walk three times this week.”
- A value could be “caring for my body and health.”
The value stays constant whether or not you meet the goal, offering a steady direction regardless of your circumstances or bandwidth. Values help you stay anchored to what matters, even when life feels chaotic or emotions are overwhelming.
Why Values Can Help When You’re Stuck
It’s natural to avoid actions that bring up uncomfortable feelings like fear, sadness, or shame. Trying something new carries risks: What if it doesn’t help? What if it feels worse? And when we’re already struggling, staying in the comfort of what’s familiar can feel safer, even if it leaves us unfulfilled.
Values offer an alternative. Unlike goals or expectations, you can’t “fail” at a value. Every action aligned with a value—no matter how small—is meaningful because it reflects who you are and what you care about.
For example:
- If you value connection, sending a simple “thinking of you” text honors that value, even if you don’t have the energy for a full conversation.
- If you value creativity, doodling on a napkin or rearranging your desk aligns with that value, even if it’s not a grand masterpiece.
When you act in line with your values, you’re living meaningfully—even in the face of discomfort or uncertainty.
Don’t Wait for Motivation
Here’s a truth we often forget: you don’t need to feel good to do good. Waiting until you “feel like it” can keep you stuck in a cycle of inaction. Think of it like the image of the horse and cart—waiting for motivation is like putting the cart before the horse. Instead, let your values guide the horse. By clarifying what matters and acting on it, you create momentum, and motivation often follows.
But even if motivation doesn’t show up, you’re still engaging in what’s meaningful. You’re still showing up for yourself.
How to Take a Values-Based Action
- Clarify What Matters
Spend some time reflecting on your values. What kind of person do you want to be? What’s truly important to you? Examples might include compassion, growth, adventure, or connection. - Start Small
Choose one manageable action that aligns with a value. If you value adventure, maybe take a new route home. If you value kindness, offer a compliment to someone. The size of the action doesn’t matter—what matters is that it reflects your values. - Make Room for Discomfort
Acting on values doesn’t always feel good. You might feel awkward, anxious, or unsure. That’s okay. Practice letting those feelings exist without letting them dictate your actions. Remember, discomfort often shows up where something meaningful is at stake. - Be Curious
Approach your actions with curiosity, not judgment. Think of yourself as a scientist experimenting with life. Try something, observe how it felt, and adjust as needed. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s about learning and growing.
Living by Your Values
Engaging in valued activities isn’t about waiting for the stars to align or for your emotions to cooperate. It’s about showing up, even when it’s hard, and taking small, meaningful steps toward the life you want to build.
When you act in line with your values, you’re reinforcing the message that you matter. Every time you honor your values—whether by sending a text, trying a new hobby, or simply sitting with your emotions—you’re moving toward a life filled with purpose and meaning.
So, what’s one small action you can take today that aligns with your values? It doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be yours.
